Killer of the Bells

A classic tale where two suicidal people meet, fall in love, and try to keep each other from killing themselves, but, like, in a funny way. Echo: “Well-adjusted considering what you’ve been through.” That’s what my therapist likes to tell me. If well-adjusted means following dangerous people to secluded areas in the hopes they'll off me, then yes. I am the picture of mental health. What’s a boy to do when his erstwhile (almost) murderer gets murdered? Definitely not stalk the murderer. Or openly set up camp on his front lawn. Or tell him that, since he foiled a perfectly good suicide, he now owes me a murder. Vale: “Dangerous sociopath. Kill on sight.” That’s what my old captors like to say. I mean, they’re not wrong. Killing just feels so good, but science feels even better, and sleep is a gift from the gods, so murder usually takes a backseat for me. So what am I supposed to do when I eat the wrong person and his victim comes after me, demanding I finish the job? Definitely not break into his house and sleep in his bed when he’s not around. Or order a shipment of groceries to him every week to make sure he eats properly. Or tell him that I plan on spending the rest of his life following him around to keep him safe.